I’ll Reach For The Stars, With Or Without You

When we talk about romantic relationships, we immediately think of two people. However, we forget that those two people are independent. “After all, I can live the same life with or without you.”

It may not sound very romantic, but the truth is that we don’t have to hold on to someone else to be happy.

“Whether I’m somewhere with or without you, there’s no reason my happiness should depend on it.

Remember that I choose to be with you. I am not dependent on you. I don’t need you to be happy. Most importantly, however, I also choose not to lay claim to you, but rather to give you wings so that you can fly to find your own happiness.”

Intertwined

We can all think of an example of a couple doing everything together since they started dating. They know each other’s friends and share the same interests, even those they previously had only themselves.

The only problem is, there’s a good chance one of them will say:

• “I feel overwhelmed.”
• “There is no personal space for me.”
• “I can’t do anything myself.”

Remember, we all need our personal space that even our partner can’t enter. As much as we love our partner, we  don’t have to turn into the same person.

In addition, it is very healthy and normal for people in a relationship to have different preferences and interests. They don’t have to take over each other’s interests at all.

Of course, it is also important and necessary to have at least a few shared interests. However , doing everything together and wanting to have the same interests and preferences is an expectation that is very difficult to meet.

So it is important that neither partner feels alone and at the same time can still maintain their own individuality.

Without you I am nothing

“When I put my individuality aside and think that my partner and I are one, I don’t even consider the idea of ​​’with or without you’ because I don’t think I exist without you. As if I would be dead then.”

This way of thinking is often seen in people who suffer from emotional dependence. The couple’s love and the way it is understood creates a dependency for the other.

We must continue to follow our dreams and do the things we enjoy, even if our partner is not participating in them.

We must remain individuals, even if we share a life with someone else. The fact remains that we are different. We have chosen to share our lives, but we are different.

We enter into a relationship to enrich our lives, not to limit it.

“If I depend on my partner, if I believe that I am nothing without him, then my partner has a negative influence on me. Instead of helping me grow, he makes me smaller. I become someone who considers himself worthless, as it were.

Therefore, both with and without you, I must do what I want to do myself. I have to do what I feel like and what allows me to grow and develop myself as a person. Limiting myself just because I’m in a relationship would be a real shame.”

With or without you I will keep growing

“It wouldn’t matter if a new job in another country threatened to tear us apart one day. It wouldn’t be a problem if for whatever reason you didn’t want a relationship with me anymore. With or without you, I will pursue my dreams and continue to do what I love.

We will stumble across many problems during our time together, but none of these problems will make me give up on who I am. If I stop being myself and you become my reason for living, what would happen when our time together comes to an end?

I would be lost, I would not know who I am nor how to recover, which means it would be a difficult and arduous path. This is a path I don’t have to take.

None of this means you don’t matter or that I don’t care about our relationship. What I mean is that I want to remain myself, even when I’m with you.

I won’t stop doing what I like. I will not miss opportunities because we are in a relationship. If I become less, I will not grow, I will not progress and I will get stuck. Who I am will die.”

Finally

The truth is that the world teaches us that true love is a love full of pain and dependent on the other. It teaches us about relationships in which two people have to become the same person. However, it is important that we continue to fight for ourselves to maintain our individuality.

We can not lose ourselves in the presence of the other and we must not forget who we are. We must always stay strong so that when it all ends, we can carry on.